when I hear people say that, I think they mean to say that one should look at the dark tunnels and not be scared, but think of how if it is a tunnel, it would open out in the end – to light and a way out.
how do you know you are in a tunnel or inside a hole? you don’t know. you can’t know, unless you can see a glimmer of light somewhere. or, unless you believe you are invincible and life is safe and you expect your prayers to be answered. always 🙂
not every dark pit one enters is a tunnel – that nicely fans out somewhere in the distant future, into a nice lighted path out of the darkness, leading somewhere beyond the present. some pits are just that – dark holes.
having accepted that, I guess ‘being positive’ would mean you are expected to scramble out of it, scream for help, beg, borrow, steal, break rules too – and make an attempt to carry on, (so you can fall into other holes and exercise “being positief” once again). and be what? wiser? nicer? makes me laugh.
it is funny, but when I stop to think about the way life is, if I cut out the lighted parts, and the sensation of colour, which is basically my mind rejoicing and celebrating life because of what it is, in itself, life has been a series of these falling in and out of pits and practising “being positive”.
where has it all led to, by the way, is what am trying to contemplate now. what does it all amount to finally? what’s the net result of all that scrambling in and out of holes? what good have I ever done to anybody else or even my own self, except to have stayed alive only to be a nuisance once again?
I did get some things I wanted for myself and didn’t get some. I believed that I had done some good to some people, but when I dig deep enough it looks like I was doing it for me.
I mean when I wanted a fantabulous class, I thought ‘them’, but wasn’t I trying to be “best of me” actually? when I fought the Principals or Directors for classes or for something for my class, I do think it was about “me”, giving “my best” “doing my best” “even at the cost of my well-being”. I think that was kind of pride that drove me. a passion for what I do, self actualization (self-realization?) at work there. would have done that anyway, whether “they” were there or not…
it is difficult to get out of that “me” thing. as long as I eat, sleep, pull me out of holes, push me to ride out of the dark tunnels, am always being “me”. some people think it is ‘possible’…in a certain state of mind…I believe that it is possible to get to that state of mind but to go on actually without being “me”…not so sure.
what if I stop wanting that at some point? is that organic, natural? is it better if something goes on preserving itself or is it good to appraise once in a while to see if it is serving (it’s own or) some purpose somewhere? and what if the program can think and choose for itself and decides – well, whatever it is that it decides,would that be taken into account?
isn’t there a system where they program a ‘bad’ program to self-destruct? isn’t this an attribute of a really ‘good’ ‘sophicticated’ program?
and “good” or “bad” is in terms of what? what extent of it is with respect to “others”? how much of it is with respect to the intrinsic value of the program or the thing itself? I don’t seem to know.
if I do not know, if I cannot see what good/bad am doing, what does that make me? an unintelligent program, a bad machine, a lower order one I guess, dispensable? AND easily replaceable…?
in which case “being positief”, folks from Antwerpen, would mean what? free space and begone? or stick to it, no matter what, and let some outside agent abort you? isn’t that what a bad machine does? goes on scratching at your disk, killing it, until you actually force-flushout-eject it manually.
Not that am here contemplating my date of death yet, have yet to see my Godson, have things to do before I do. Only I realize I would like to know, when and how. We still can’t make up our minds about Euthanasia, which is understandable.
This however is different. Would like to see if the votes say something. You can vote without signing in. You can also see the results yourself in terms of percentage, you can even write your views down after ticking “other” option. Only it would provide for limited space I think, so it is better to use the comment box for that. Thanks.