being positive

when I hear people say that, I think they mean to say that one should look at the dark tunnels and not be scared, but think of how if it is a tunnel, it would open out in the end – to light and a way out.

how do you know you are in a tunnel or inside a hole? you don’t know. you can’t know, unless you can see a glimmer of light somewhere. or, unless you believe you are invincible and life is safe and you expect your prayers to be answered. always 🙂

not every dark pit one enters is a tunnel – that nicely fans out somewhere in the distant future, into a nice lighted path out of the darkness, leading somewhere beyond the present. some pits are just that – dark holes.

having accepted that, I guess ‘being positive’ would mean you are expected to scramble out of it, scream for help, beg, borrow, steal, break rules too – and make an attempt to carry on, (so you can fall into other holes and exercise “being positief” once again).  and be what? wiser? nicer? makes me laugh.

it is funny, but when I stop to think about the way life is, if I cut out the lighted parts, and the sensation of colour, which is basically my mind rejoicing and celebrating life because of what it is,  in itself, life has been a series of these falling in and out of pits and practising “being positive”.

where has it all led to, by the way, is what am trying to contemplate now. what does it all amount to finally? what’s the net result of all that scrambling in and out of holes? what good have I ever done to anybody else or even my own self, except to have stayed alive only to be a nuisance once again?

I did get some things I wanted for myself and didn’t get some. I believed that I had done some good to some people, but when I dig deep enough it looks like I was doing it for me.

I mean when I wanted a fantabulous class, I thought ‘them’, but wasn’t I trying to be “best of me” actually? when I fought the Principals or Directors for classes or for something for my class, I do think it was about “me”, giving “my best” “doing my best” “even at the cost of my well-being”. I think that was kind of pride that drove me. a passion for what I do,  self actualization (self-realization?) at work there. would have done that anyway, whether “they” were there or not…

it is difficult to get out of that “me” thing. as long as I eat, sleep, pull me out of holes, push me to ride out of the dark tunnels, am always being “me”. some people think it is ‘possible’…in a certain state of mind…I believe that it is possible to get to that state of mind but to go on actually without being “me”…not so sure.

what if I stop wanting that at some point? is that organic, natural? is it better if something goes on preserving itself or is it good to appraise once in a while to see if it is serving (it’s own or) some purpose somewhere? and what if the program can think and choose for itself and decides – well, whatever it is that it decides,would that be taken into account?

isn’t there a system where they program a ‘bad’ program to self-destruct? isn’t this an attribute of a really ‘good’ ‘sophicticated’ program?

and “good” or “bad” is in terms of what? what extent of it is with respect to “others”? how much of it is with respect to the intrinsic value of the program or the thing itself? I don’t seem to know.

if I do not know, if I cannot see what good/bad am doing, what does that make me? an unintelligent program, a bad machine, a lower order one I guess, dispensable? AND easily replaceable…?

in which case “being positief”, folks from Antwerpen, would mean what? free space and begone? or stick to it, no matter what, and let some outside agent abort you? isn’t that what a bad machine does? goes on scratching at your disk, killing it, until you actually force-flushout-eject it manually.

Not that am here contemplating my date of death yet, have yet to see my Godson, have things to do before I do. Only  I realize I would like to know, when and how. We still can’t make up our minds about Euthanasia, which is understandable.

This however is different. Would like to see if the votes say something.  You can vote without signing in. You can also see the results yourself in terms of percentage, you can even write your views down after ticking “other” option. Only it would provide for limited space I think, so it is better to use the comment box for that. Thanks.

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8 thoughts on “being positive

  1. A tunnel becomes a pit only if you stop believing it is a tunnel. Deep down inside, I truly believe (and that might just be my Gemini optimism speaking) that there are no pits and that it’s always a tunnel. Some tunnels are short and you see the light just a short distance away and some tunnels are long and suffocating and you can barely see any light at the end of it at all…but walk long and hard enough through the tunnel and sure enough you will see the light at the end of it at some point or the other. The waiting and walking through the tunnel is sometimes the most aggravating thing ever and people like you and me who dont have the patience or are weary of walking through the darkness start to lose faith that there is any light at the end at all…but the minute you stop believing it’s a tunnel and that you’re really just in a pit, you allow helplessness to take over your life. So dont lose faith, keep walking, i promise you it’s a tunnel…just a tunnel…and you will see the light soon. *hug*

    And for the record, I dont think there is such a thing as being completely selfless…it just doesnt exist. No point in trying to be completely selfless…it simply is unattainable. We can try to be altruistic but ultimately every action is driven by wanting to satisfy our own self. And there is nothing wrong with it. No point acting martyr about it. We ultimately do things because we want to do them…the fact that they affect other lives perhaps makes us feel better or worse about those actions but ultimately i do think we undertake them because we want to. It’s just how things are. No point beating yourself up over it.

    Dont let nobody put you down. And above all, dont put yourself down. This too will pass…and once it does, you’ll look back and see that you came out all the stronger for it. I know, i know, it sounds like a very faux posetief thing to say…but take it from someone who just discovered that the pit does have a light at the end of it.

  2. First of all i am late to reply on this.
    Had loads of things to catch up.

    My reply to this thing would be, “Yes!”

    For me whole thought of being positive is lost, when a thought of “Ichhyamrityu” comes to one.

    I think its a last resolve to go for…

    Now, I would go by famous saying “Life is journey enjoy it”. Best part of it lies in the destiny, which is never know, because what you think or as destination just leads to another road.

    Here are terms:
    Journey: Life
    Destination: Mokshaya (life after death)

    When a person experiences a soothing part of journey, his walk towards destination is slowest, as his Life expectancy increases. When he has hell daunting upon him, he says “Mujhe uthale bhagwan” and wants to end his journey (Ichhyamrityu) .

    None wants to a sheep following the herd, but then they dont have courage to break off and choose their path (being positive).

  3. Vee, I can’t see how a pit becomes a tunnel just by believing it be. A pit is a pit that you have to scramble out of. Can’t walk thru, can you?

    Yes, you are right, selfless, doesn’t exist – commonly.

    So then if it is all about “me” and not the world around, why is it not free to choose life or death as it will? Did you know that attempt to suicide is a punishable offense – I was surprised to learn that – why should it be pray?

    Sunny, thanks for voting. And explaining your stance on ‘being positive’. Break off and choosing our own path is made difficult by friends and family and people that should aid you in the first place.
    Is it because they are trying to protect you from uncertainties or trying to keep you from evolving and growing and being your own self?

  4. Rolling,

    If a friend or family believes in you will support you.

    If you have evolving ideas, then a they should encourage you. If they are possessive about you, they should be standing next to you if you new idea/path/direction to live.

    I have learnt that, a knowledge/exp. of 60 Years old mans is not match to that of 3 boys in their 20s.

    If friends/family restrict you, with sighting a distance with their experience, then its true, else they are just like sheep and herd tale, we has discussed.

  5. Sunny , if a man chooses a desirable moment of death, would that be construed as being positive or defeatist?
    Is right to auto-destruct a legitimate choice or not?

    Do I get the right to choose how I die? And be able to sue the State if I die accidentally or if it fails to protect me from terrorist attacks?

  6. Rolling,

    Very interesting question.

    Well i am not aware of LAW to that extend.
    But for sure if your act of self destruction is meant as an harm to social/communal environment, then this act is termed as illegal. and their had been cases in past to prove it.
    Example a Lama getting himself burnt, was an act of protest, towards Chinese. Which in turn brought huge crowd of people together to fight for a common cause.

    Similar act of protest like Hunger strike for certain unjust-biased demands was termed as a suicide, and they ended up lading in Jail.

    No one is such huge populous country can guarantee you safety, if not you, yourself.
    No state government will be ready to stand in court for the case (for scenario you have mentioned).

    Even a serious act of terrorism, and death of civilian in the same, is taken lightly as an accident. Because its your bad luck that you decide to have a dinner at “TAJ” only that very evening.

    Answer to your question Do I get the right to choose how I die? is
    Yes, if you want to let it go as a suicide.

    Here is other side of it:
    As shown in movies, there is always a wish granted to a person who is to be terminated.
    But for a normal, being you can still say
    ” My last wish is to Die Now”

    @ Sunny sounds funny now, but exactly as I would have it, am prepared to pay for the medication and assistance, there should be a system in place.

  7. Trisha, how do you know that what you’re in is really a pit? You only call it a pit because you figure it’s got to be a pit because if it was a tunnel, you’d see a ray of hope. And because you havent seen the ray of hope, you call it a pit. And you try to scramble out of it. And get nowhere. I say, it still is a tunnel. You just havent walked long enough, been patient enough, to reach the very end of the tunnel where the ray of hope has always been waiting for you to get to it. Until then, the tunnel may seem like a pit, but it really is just a tunnel.

    It really is up to you what you want to call it – a pit or a tunnel.

    Complete selflessly just doesnt exist. Complete selfishness doesnt exist either (though some people come dangerously close to it). As a human, you are at freedom to take your own life. I dont think it should be punishable. It’s your life after all. You ought to have to right to end it when you want. But having said that, every life impacts another life. And when you chose to end your life, you ought to consider that this will be a decision that impacts other lives too. Whether you choose to make a selfless decision in consideration with those lives or whether you choose to act selfish is also ultimately depends on you. And I am not necessarily saying being selfish is a negative thing. It isnt always.

  8. Vee Yup. Digging at it whenever it feels like a pit and not try to scramble out is a great enterprising idea (Gosh, you guys are so warm and tender, young and sweet – makes me want to cry sometimes) –
    O by the way, u know, sometime the view up above, is lovely from the pit, the sky looks benign and blue and so different – like a piece of jewel 🙂

    Vee, the world over, auto-destruct is still a matter of ‘killing’ oneself, falling under category of ‘suicide’. The world isn’t very familiar with the idea of “Ichhyamrityu” as we know it in India. If I died by myself people would call it ‘suicide’ and associate it with ‘death under duress’ idea, which is what am trying to work at. When a person decides upon Ichhyamrityu, that is a choice, a decision made by an intelligent member of society and has to be respected by his/her community.

    If they call it suicide, it would not be treated with the same courtesy or honour or respect is what I realized. But I hope, now that I have started it, by the time am ready to go, it will have been established as a matter of right, pride, honour and privilege.

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