sticking to one place

in the mindspace

I never do write offhand posts or new year resolutions. am simply not the kind to post “what to do-not to do signs” to my brain, even in a private journal. I know what am going to do, what I need, to maintain equilibrium and sanity and rhythm in my life and go about doing them quietly.

this time though, after reading the Ramblings of an Average Teenager, I thought I would try and do that and see how it feels for a change.

the trend in Western blogging seems to be to record a running commentary on daily life, daily entries almost, and mostly, very personal – so that when one reads the material from across the globe, it gives an authentic experience of life elsewhere. it’s very like reading a book, at times, with real people making up real characters and their lives the  ‘story-material’ as it were. it’s exciting and colourful and fun to read.

am basically rather shy and reticent – unless provoked out of my shell, so it’s going to be difficult – to overcome which, I plan to read a few entries of my blog mates first, then come write mine, 😉 in effect talking to them in my mind, or responding to thoughts they might have expressed.

Lil Mumpitoosh Rides with his Grampa

Lil Mumpitoosh Rides with his Grampa

this one is in response to what Vee says about  “sticking to one place”.  actually, I know,  I wrote that I mean to do it.  but then I realize – the whole point of my life has been to keep Rolling, and not let moss gather – whether it’s ideas, or perspective or paradigm or geographical territory or culture – I have struggled to keep moving – in my mind and physically too when it looked like otherwise the mind might be bogged down with the weight of dead ideas and bad reason.

if I call me successful today – it is because, I have managed to do what I had decided for myself, when I passed out of school, without too many hitches and glitches, so far.  which probably means that I have been organized in my own seemingly disorganized fashion, that my planning has been reasonably sound and that I have spent of life, intelligently.  the returns I received has added layers and a rich texture to my being, my understanding of life,  and my powers of self-realization.

sticking to one place always made me think of a stagnant pool with the clear water hidden under layers of dirty green moss and plankton.  I hadn’t wanted to be that and lose out on the sunlight and fresh air…

but what with this new thing happening in my life, I am suddenly driven with a desire to dam the flow and build – accumulate, so that when that little child sprouts wings and is able to fly down, wherever I might be someday, looking for who might have been his Godmom, he would have some ‘things’ to indicate that she had existed and that he had existed in her life and that she had nurtured him in her consciousness.  also, now, with the  Ray of  the West, that appears to be rooted and stronger than me, in my life, it may not be that hard.

the visit to Lothal somehow reinforced this urge in me.  as I sat there, listening to Kiran and the children debating the idea of Preservation – why, what and how – and the idea of Value and Understanding, I could feel something stirring in me….sure sign life’s changing 😉

so the new year begins, with a new quest.  it really is a new start for me, I look forward to 2009 🙂

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3 thoughts on “sticking to one place

  1. Reading this post made me see a bit of myself in you and I wonder if someday I’ll feel the way you feel today. I have an inherent inability to just stick to one place all my life…the very thought depresses me…some of it has a lot to do with the kind of childhood I had…where home didnt really have one geographical location but rather was spread out where my loved ones were. I feel the need to constantly travel both physically and mentally…and sticking to just one thing or one place over a lifetime would be the easiest way to suffocate me. Right now I cant imagine ever settling down in one place to spend the rest of my life…but after reading your post it makes me wonder whether time will someday change that about me…whether I too will want to stop running and just stay in one place for someone. I am not sure right now I understand your reasons why…couldnt you still nurture your godson as you keep rolling? For me, it would be so cool to have a godmother who has seen so much of the world and has so much more to show me of it. You dont have to change yourself for him…I am sure he will love you just as you are. 🙂

    PS. I hope I’m not sounding judgemental…that’s not my intention at all..I’m just trying to understand myself perhaps through you.

  2. 🙂 judgemental? no, of course not, u r showing active interest in my life, which is being friends is all about, isn’t it Vee? wd hve to write another post tseems 😉

    Puku, so happy to see that u reached home n appear to hve settled down. the white fire all around seems intimidating even in pix, tke care, beta – was it like reacclimatizng after Mumbai?

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