in the mindspace
I never do write offhand posts or new year resolutions. am simply not the kind to post “what to do-not to do signs” to my brain, even in a private journal. I know what am going to do, what I need, to maintain equilibrium and sanity and rhythm in my life and go about doing them quietly.
this time though, after reading the Ramblings of an Average Teenager, I thought I would try and do that and see how it feels for a change.
the trend in Western blogging seems to be to record a running commentary on daily life, daily entries almost, and mostly, very personal – so that when one reads the material from across the globe, it gives an authentic experience of life elsewhere. it’s very like reading a book, at times, with real people making up real characters and their lives the ‘story-material’ as it were. it’s exciting and colourful and fun to read.
am basically rather shy and reticent – unless provoked out of my shell, so it’s going to be difficult – to overcome which, I plan to read a few entries of my blog mates first, then come write mine, 😉 in effect talking to them in my mind, or responding to thoughts they might have expressed.
this one is in response to what Vee says about “sticking to one place”. actually, I know, I wrote that I mean to do it. but then I realize – the whole point of my life has been to keep Rolling, and not let moss gather – whether it’s ideas, or perspective or paradigm or geographical territory or culture – I have struggled to keep moving – in my mind and physically too when it looked like otherwise the mind might be bogged down with the weight of dead ideas and bad reason.
if I call me successful today – it is because, I have managed to do what I had decided for myself, when I passed out of school, without too many hitches and glitches, so far. which probably means that I have been organized in my own seemingly disorganized fashion, that my planning has been reasonably sound and that I have spent of life, intelligently. the returns I received has added layers and a rich texture to my being, my understanding of life, and my powers of self-realization.
sticking to one place always made me think of a stagnant pool with the clear water hidden under layers of dirty green moss and plankton. I hadn’t wanted to be that and lose out on the sunlight and fresh air…
but what with this new thing happening in my life, I am suddenly driven with a desire to dam the flow and build – accumulate, so that when that little child sprouts wings and is able to fly down, wherever I might be someday, looking for who might have been his Godmom, he would have some ‘things’ to indicate that she had existed and that he had existed in her life and that she had nurtured him in her consciousness. also, now, with the Ray of the West, that appears to be rooted and stronger than me, in my life, it may not be that hard.
the visit to Lothal somehow reinforced this urge in me. as I sat there, listening to Kiran and the children debating the idea of Preservation – why, what and how – and the idea of Value and Understanding, I could feel something stirring in me….sure sign life’s changing 😉
so the new year begins, with a new quest. it really is a new start for me, I look forward to 2009 🙂