there are no types

what you bring out in a partner depends on yourself

“There are no types”….There are, I think, which is why your advertising thing works I believe. Or marketing?

“what you bring out in your partner depends on yourself”.

I agree with this one. But in the reverse : what you bring out in your partner depends on who he or she is.

You are the same person with everybody you encounter. But they are different – each one draws out different things in you.

Some of them turn out to be alchemists that trigger that golden existence – when you are at your happiest, social, intelligent, liberated, coolest, creative best. There are others that tend to draw out all the negative, belligerent qualities in you. Every day spent with them might be a strain – on your resources, on your patience, limits of tolerance, on your ability to think clearly or logically, on your ability to laugh away the contradictions and rough parts of life.

Why do I say that? I will explain.

I am a bundle offer unto the world. I am the sum total of my beliefs, experiences, prejudices, principles, goals and aspirations.  Every time I meet you, all of these come into play while we interact with one another. So, I remain the same bundle, basically, with all of you. I do not divide my self and carry this belief to this person and only that principle to that other person. When I meet you I do not know who you are, for the first time anyway, so logically, I come to you as a whole bundle, with all there is.

You pick and choose – to see what you will, and ignore what you would not  So, I remain the same – I am the constant element here.

But, people I meet and interact with, are different at each step. Sometimes, they turn out to be people that appreciate me. Sometimes they turn out to be people that hate me. (O am smiling, I don’t hold them responsible, after all, all of us need different things to be happy, right?

It is not because of who I am – it is perhaps because of what you are looking for.  Maybe, you loved me, when you found that?

Maybe you hated me, when I did not meet your expectations or I didn’t turn out to be what you were looking for (in me) ? 🙂

I believe, when we do come across people that manage to draw that good side of our selves, we call them “the alchemists” and want to cherish and keep them forever in our lives.

Monkey turned ‘what you sow is what you get’ on its head 😉 ?   Is it more like ‘what you sow depends on what you get’  to sow in? (the kind of sowing ground/aadhaar* we get?). There will of course be different views about such things. But this is what came to my mind, when someone I admire made that comment, a day before  😐

* aadhaar: a container, a receptacle, exteneded meaning – a holder, etc.

Cuckoo, Priyank, Kiran, Manoj and even Nita might frown and say “It’s an irresponsible thing to say, Trisha, how could you?”. Jay, Ashraf, Vishal, Harshad, Vagabond, Shantanu, Arun, Rajarshi, Sanjib (Terri never does come I believe),Aloke, Anjan Banerjee, Partha, Sidhu (I know you read me, read is in the past tense ) – and whoever chances upon the page, willing to share their views, it would be fun to know, what you have to say about this.

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6 thoughts on “there are no types

  1. I never believed people were the same no matter who they encountered. I have always believed that I am a somewhat different person depending on who I am spending time with. I never looked at it the way you describe, and I have to agree. We ARE the same. It is the other person who draws out different characteristics of our personality.

    Terri Hey, Great to see you here 🙂 welcome and thanks.
    Like u inspired me to run – albeit am doing it more in my head (its still very hot where I am, saps your energy and then after sun down, am scared to go out in the dark alone), but I have taken to walking for two hours daily, briskly 🙂 plus am trying to cook as much as possble to cut down the junk. Still feel bloated 🙂 but you influenced me is a fact.

  2. I think it all boils down to perceptions. We are the person that we are inside. No, we do not change who we are to suit the people that we meet. But how they perceive us or how we perceive them determines whether or not we’ll get along, or whether they’ll be the alchemist in our life. Sometimes the circumstances under which we meet certain people projects us (and them) in a certain light and had we perhaps met them under different circumstances we may have seen them a different way. These perceptions I believe allow us to accept them as the alchemists in our lives or be the alchemists in their lives. And even with those that we just dont get along, somedays I think it’s just all about perception…perhaps in a different life, under different circumstances, with a different perception we may have gotten along.

    A very interesting post, I must say!

    @ Vagabond thanx, inspiring to c u gave it a serious thought. U sound very wise 🙂

  3. For one thing, I love the unconscious part of our brains. It’s so powerful. In fact, I’ve always believed that if a person excels at something, it’s because he/she has learned to tap into the unconscious part of his/her brain and use it.

    That’s how we can immediately focus on and appreciate good music, even if we don’t understand anything about it – it’s built inside us.

    Extending this further, I believe that our brain gathers all we need to know about someone else in just one look. That’s all it needs. However, consciously we can focus on only a few things, and choose to ignore the rest.

    So you see, that brings me to choice – and I firmly believe it’s choice that makes a person.

  4. @Alok, yes, I love the ‘unconscious’ part of the brain too. Do you mean the instinctive? Would you say, what you chose to ‘see’ or ‘not see’ in your partner, would influence /hisher behaviour, ideas about his/her ownself?

  5. I think you might be right about that aadhaar part.
    If the soil which is like the environment including people, appreciation, encouraging atmosphere, is good – the seeds of goodwill you sow would blossom and bear fruit at the right time.

    Whereas, no matter how good the seed(the good act is) is, if you sow it in bad soil (in malicious environment) it would not only not grow, it might actually die killing potential that it holds 🙂

  6. It’s kind of amazing how different people are, isn’t it? Something that could be completely weird to you might be the norm for someone else. How you react to these differences with people, though, is something else that defines you as a person. Some people are really open-minded, and some people are set in their ways and judge those who don’t see eye-to-eye with them. I think part of being happy is being able to deal with differences you will have with people, and accepting that some people are just different.

    yes, Mike, true and welcome to my perch 🙂

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