The other day when Priyank had had an overdose of my crypcomm, he shot a mail.
The context here is not important, so I would leave it out. But while I was writing out the answer to his letter, I discovered that I had embarked upon a memory trip! And realized I would like to linger… a bit…..to remember how I remembered….In these times bad people like me do not often do that, you see?
So I removed it from that letter and posted it here.
Here is what Priyank had written, in his own words:
“whats “this” ji gi ji gi post? What is “that” space? Where is “there” ? “first design”, “migrated there”…. etc.. What do you mean you “miss my face”?
I am not sitting next to you or looking at your computer screen. Talk to me as if you are talking to a blind man. when you say “go there” “do this” “see that” without references, I have no idea what you mean and its very annoying.”
“Ji-gi-ji-gi”? G-gi-G-gi ?
Little Trisha used to say that word. Baby would tap her little fingers on the toy and say “jigijigi”. If you tried to give it back to her, and make her play with it, she would bump it another few times against the floor to see if it worked and then hand it right back, reasserting that it was “jigijigi”.
Meaning, I don’t understand it. I can’t figure it out. I can’t handle it. I am puzzled. She continued with that word till class III (class IV onwards there were boys)…and her Mum would laugh and get hold of her and say, “Noooo, it is NOT jigijigi, Mitthi, look, you put one here, and the other one there – a. n. d it’s done!” Mum would smile then. A starry starry smile. You felt like you were with a fairy or something – not lost in a math-maze.
Often though, you would hear the poor lady shriek, “ONE more WHY in this house and am going to throw everyone OUT. You do it RIGHT NOW and because YOUR MUM says it” Sometimes she said that to my baba as well. Because My father was dumb too and had to know WHY. She would say “everyone” to make sure baba understood that he was Father, supposed to side with the Mother and it was chastising time. He would often forget!
We called her ‘bossy’ behind her back. Bro and I – we almost grew to ‘hate’ her and tried to keep her at arms length. But she was always there, everywhere in our lives, back then.
As “jigijigi” and other made-up words disappeared from my vocab, I needed Mother as a buffer and a shield and a filter and a Wiki less and less and somehow drifted so far away that it took three years and a question to bring it all back : a question unzipped a snap and I saw her as she was, I saw that smile again.
Guess I feel a little homesick this morning.
But it doesn’t mean I want to say I miss my Mum or cry or hold on to the moment any longer…
15 Sep 2008