Paul’s Hell and His Hell-Fighter

 

I will be     fully me until the end of me,

until the fully unavoidable occurs.

While in hell, I am Hell-Fighter,

the flip-side of my coin – a calm

blinder than rage

whose name hell can’t contain.

Paul Maurice

in Hell III: The Human Animal in Hell

http://www.originalfaith.com/excerpts.html

 

Any thoughts on what sorts of things really do work to help put the worst things that can happen to us in a perspective that isn’t bitter or resentful?

 

I think that for people who have experienced major hardship, this can be a difficult topic. So was forgiveness, which we looked at several months ago. Maybe there’s a relationship between the two subjects.

Paul Maurice

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

strange India

PS:  Another (the 5th one in India, this year) terror attack unleashed death and destruction in neighbouring city Mumbai last night and hundreds died, “Mumbai looked like a war zone as sharp shooters of army, NSG and other security forces stormed the landmark hotels to overwhelm the terrorists”, the Australian cricket team deferred their visit, the stock exchange shut down and schools and colleges, the International community seems apprehensive, “Maharashtra Director General of Police A.N. Roy said the security forces would kill or catch the terrorists”

“No negotiations”… they have already killed five young men in their twenties, terrorists, and captured one. 

The whole country should have risen in outrage. Yet the common man on the street said, “Who knows why those guys were killed, ap kitna jantey ho? Kya pata hai apko? Ap sarkar ho? Probably there’s more to it than we know? All we need to do is to mind our business, and nothing bad is going to happen to me or you!” ( translation: “how much do you know? What do you know? Are you administration?”) The mind is numbed – yes, what does it matter really? To you or me? Life would just go on – in this heart of darkness – as long as I live – unless I die…in this beautiful, strange country of ours…what can we do?

weather report

My dear friends,

am caught in a storm. amidst all the dust and din, I can neither see clearly nor hear properly or think.

so I would be gone: be underground, for a while.

In the meanwhile, hope you keep posting, and take care of yourselves. For my friends in the West, and those that celebrate the day here, hope you had a great Thanks Giving Day today, with your family and friends, and the children enjoyed every minute of it…

see you when the sun shines and the weather clears a bit.
a  virtual hug to everybody, bye

The Great Indian Language Barrier

Local is the New National Language?

Well, I love my country very much.  I mean to travel and work and live in all the states before I retire. I wish to be able to live for at least a year in every state before I finally decide where I wish to settle dwon, grow old and die.

However, to do that it looks like am going to have to learn all the 28 languages of my country. Just knowing English the lingua franca, or knowing the National language Hindi is not really  going to help.

All States have changed shop display boards, road signs, and boards at airports and railway stations to the local language. Every State insists that all public transaction be done in State Language.  Like writing an FIR or applying for an address proof or getting a house rent Agreement – it is all done in the local language.

All public utility signs have also been changed to local languages from Hindi, the common National language. Earlier all public signs used to be in Hindi all over India, or in English, so that anybody travelling from any part of India could easily find their way about in a different city, in a different State. Language was not a barrier.

However, the current scenario is that, the National language Hindi, is no longer used nationally. Local seems to be the new National Language now.

The three language formula was introduced in schools after Independence in order to make life easy for citizens functioning in a multi-language environment. It was understood that it is humanly not possible for everybody to learn all the languages to remain mobile and move from State to State.

Hence, a common language Hindi, was chosen and demarked as the National Language. And another – English – was universally recognized as the common official language for all – both Indian Nationals and Foreigners coming in.

Accordingly, Hindi was (and still is) compulsorily taught to every school going Indian child. Every Indian speaks at least three to four languages almost from birth – one is the mother tongue, the second is the local language of the place where the child might be growing up, and the third is Hindi, the Rashtra Bhasha, or the National Language. The fourth is English, a major subject in the school curriculum.

For example, I speak Bengali(mother tongue)- Assamese(grew up there) – Hindi (National Language) – English (School).

Somehow things changed in between, in the last five years. Language is no longer a tool to be used to make life easy, to build community, to forge ties or to transact. It has acquired a new status – albeit a very political one. Now Language is a matter of Identity. I speak Gujarati so am a true Gujarati. In order to be a true Marathi, I must speak Marathi. I cannot love my State enough if Ido not speak Bengali.

Love of one’s State is measured in terms of whether we speak the State language or not! Cultural awareness, participation in the developmental activities of that State no longer signifies ‘love’ for some strange reason. If I speak the State language, even while sucking it dry and funneling all its resources to my own, it is still alright!

The point of this post is to raise this question: if the National Language no longer serves to unite or help, why not do away with it?  Let’s give up Hindi, and make all 28 languages compulsory in the school curriculum. I know it is difficult – a child would end up learning only languages if it was done. But there the alternative is being rejected at every step!

If Language is such an important identity issue, let us do this systematically? Let us start with the National Anthem. Then let us take up National Language. Then let us fix the school curriculum. And then let us change boards in our states to our beloved local languages.

1) Let us have the National Anthem translated into all the 28 State languages, first.  Let us sing it in Gujarati in Gujarat, in Marathi in Marathawada, in pure Kannad in Karnataka and in Ahomiya in Assam and so on.

2) Then, let there be no National Language. I mean, if I have to write an FIR in Gujarati (I had to, when I had lost my PAN recently) when am in Gujarat, in Marathi when am in Mumbai, let us teach all languages in school as “compulsory”.

3) Let us amend the THREE LANGUAGE FORMULA in schools and make it COMPULSORY 28 for all.  So that when we grow up and travel for work, or for change, we are not lost in our own country.

Let us at least give people a chance, before we take drastic steps – like suddenly changing all signs in local language expecting 20 crore Bhartiyas – to know my State Language! And as soon as they enter my State too. I mean changing public signs like Bus routes, numbers etc implies that, doesn’t it? Since some people think it is humanly possible for everybody to know everything, let us at least do it systematically.

Since knowing Hindi and English, is not enough when am in Gujarat or Maharashtra – or in Karnataka, I think it is time we found a new solution for the GREAT INDIAN LANGUAGE BARRIER.

PS: I am not saying let us have Hindi, am saying let us have one COMMON language. Or let us teach all 28 and then change signs and documents. The census report here shows, 41% of Indian population speak Hindi, Bengali, Telugu, Marathi come next in that order.

Let’s Have The National Anthem Translated in All 28 Languages

Let’s have a 28-Compulsory-Language-Formula in Schools Instead of 3

Well, I love my country very much. And I mean to travel and work and live in all the states before I retire. I wish to be able to settle down in any State I please and choose to, without having to field surprised “Why did you leave WB?” from prospective employers and neighbours. Just because my parents are Bengalis everybody automatically assumes I belong to Kolkata or I should.

I was neither born in Kolkata, nor raised there, and I never studied Bangla, I picked it up.

Marathis expect everybody coming into their state to learn Marathi. So they write all their sign boards, bus routes, train routes, all public notices in Marathi. It is the same story in Gujarat.

I get lost all the time, having hopped into the wrong bus, as am unable to read the route on the approaching bus fast enough and nobody has the time to tell me. It was the same in Bangalore, all bus routes and bus numbers there are written in Kannad. In Kolkata State Buses still show signs written in Engish and Hindi plus Bangla. But in response to the other states, now even here, private bus owners have all had it written in Bangla.  In Orissa, Tamil Nadu - it is the same story – almost.

Language is a tool meant to serve the purpose of our lives, not to deter it! If Language is such an important identity issue, let us do this in a phased manner and with some consideration for people.

Let us have the National Anthem translated into all the 28 state languages, first.  Let us sing it in Gujarati in Gujarat, in Marathi in Marathawada, in pure Kannad in Karnataka and in Ahomiya in Assam and so on.

And then, let there be no National Language. I mean, if I have to write an FIR in Gujarati (I had to, when I had lost my PAN recently) when am in Gujarat, in Marathi when am in Mumbai, let us teach all languages in school as compulsory. Since Hindi is no longer a help in such matters.

Let us redo school syllabus and instead of the prevalent THREE LANGUAGE FORMULA, let us make it COMPULSORY 28 for all.  So that when we grow up and travel for work, or for change, we are not lost in our own country.

I am tired of being forced to learn a new language everytime I cross border into the next state. I am old and it is becoming increasingly  tedious. I already speak five and that includes the National Language. It still doesn’t help. Everybody wants me to learn their language and be able to speak to them in their tongue.

Is it humanly possible to learn all 28 languages? Do I have to pick up a new language everytime I venture into a new state in my own Country? Can there be no consensus about one Common Language for ALL Indians?

Let’s Teach Grammar Please – 3

another reason to teach grammar

This post was inspired by this comment : Posted by:Niel Jul 9, 2008 2:10:58 PM here

Intensive language training (for the US troops he means) would be wasted effort for an impossible goal.

The problems are:

1) It’s extremely hard to learn a foreign language after puberty.

2) The foreign languages American children do study in school (French, Spanish, likely Mandarin in the future) aren’t spoken in current trouble-spots and may or may not be in future trouble-spots.

3) Americans with advanced foreign language skills don’t join the military.

4) Most soldiers don’t need to speak the local language. Sure it’d be great if they magically did, but they can be effective without it. Local translators and future automatic translation will help.

While American children may or may not learn another language at school, it is still imperative that most  Indian children learn English at school.

The reasons for that would be clear to most Indians and therefore, I refrain from elaborating them in this post, which is about whether we are teaching it with the right perspective, at this moment, and whether we are right in doing away with Grammar teaching, totally from our curriculum.

Two ideas in that article caught my attention. Firstly, it indeed becomes extremely difficult to learn a new language after puberty. Which means it is sensible to teach new languages at the earliest possible stage of a human child’s developement.

Secondly, the reference to automatic translator machines to help us cope with the problem of the impossibility of learning new languages as and when required – instead to use automatic translator machines.

In the context of the discussion about what is the right age to introduce a new language to learners,  I remember,  the West Bengal Government had taken English off the Board recommended English syllabus, on the presumption that it was hard for children to grasp  a new language but their own mother tongue while they are very young.

So English as a second language came to be taught from Class V in State Government sponsored, mostly Bengali medium schools.

Children started ABC – alphabets – at age ten. Which means they start on a new language, and a foreign one at that after nearly seven years of schooling. Seven, because here children start school when they are three years old, in Preparatory, moving on to Class 1 through Nursery, and Kindergarten. They are ten years old when they are in Class V.

Learning a new language at ten years of age -  is the scenario in English medium schools meant for the financially well-off middle class children. Of course in most reputed English medium schools, they introduce English at the Prep itself, formally bringing in the State Board prescribed books at Class I. But learning starts earlier. Which is one reason these children always have had a slight edge over the others coming from Government sponsored schools here in India.

In ordinary Government sponsored Bangla medium schools however they do not follow the age stricture too closely, and often children are admitted directly to Class I at their parents’ discretion, and in rural areas or in small towns – children in Class I could be anywhere between twelve to thirteen years old! These children pass their Boards at eighteen instead of at sixteen as is the case with a child from an aware and educated family in the big cities.

Was it a good idea to introduce a new language at that age? Well, time has proved that it wasn’t.

Of course the theory Niel refers to, existed even then, but pity that it was not taken into account for some reason. So after destroying the lives of one whole generation, they re-introduced it.

English study was reintroduced – but not from Prep or Kindergarten itself, but from Class I when the children became six years old.

And now to the more important part: the question of creating, developing, monitoring these automatic translator devices or programs that Niel mentions in his article.

So who are the people that would develop these sophisticated translator programs? Clueless Next Gen English Teachers, who were never taught Grammar? Or engineers expert in code, computer hardware and software or database management pros or who?

Engineers that are assigned this job would NOW re- learn Grammar to develop this program?

How do we make sure which one would get this job – then why neglect teaching something that might become useful to anyone that is attending classes. We do not know what their futures are going to be like, what they are going to do with their lives.

As teachers, aren’t we responsible for giving them a quality education that would serve them in good stead in whatever they might choose to do in future?

I mean if we are teaching organic chemistry and static electricity to everyone, on the assumption that someday one of them might need it, why should we not consider teaching the conventions of a language that everybody would be using, all the time, anyway, in a world that is increasingly turning global with every passing day? In the Indian context English is the passport to the world outside.

Truth is, the school would do well to introduce all the basic skills at the age children go to school, which means key stage one, when they are about four to ten years old.  Research shows this is the time they learn fast and learn best.

At key stage three, when they attain puberty and are in their teens, the learning process speeds up even more. An average teenager is forging more neuro-network in his brain than me or another adult teacher no matter how bright we are. Research has proved it and most teachers are aware of the fact that, whatever part of  our brain cells is not being used at this age, either dies or becomes defunct. The more you work, the better it gets for the brain actually.

So I propose we teach grammar at school, like we used to, using technology and current theories about language acquisition. Functional Communicative Language Teaching Method was the craze at one point of time. That helps in a certain situation and with a certain purpose. It is a only a method of teaching language skills, and an approach to imparting language skills. It  doesn’t necessarily have to clash with grammar teaching or learning at all.Most children go to private tutors anyway to learn language in depth.

But for the purpose I mention above, it would be necessary for a student to have acquired NATIVE SPEAKER like proficiency in English. That is impossible to achieve with the way we are teaching language now. The examination results, burgeoning prep IELTS centres, various privately run spoken English classes that flourish, the amount of private tution a child needs at home etc prove this fact.

The curriculum we are using, our methods, fail to meet the needs of the stake holders nearly at all levels.

Please read what Ian Parker, a retired mathematician and who has been concerned with AI has to say about the importance of teaching Grammar here. That would be his second post regarding the subject. The first one is here

The value of Grammar in Language Teaching

Dostana 2008 Movie Just Shut Up And Bounce

a snippet from newscrux of bollywood

Posted on 10 November, 08 by Veresh

Tarun Mansukhani has reportedly clarified, “John and Abhishek lie that they are a gay couple, and so all other characters (in the story) presume them to be gay, which brings in the fun quotient to the film.”

Now with John and Abhishek behaving like proper gays, there’s bound to be a lot of confusion.

He tries to make the picture clear about the K Jo production which is set to release on November 14, “They (Abhi and John) don’t behave as gay. They behave as normal friends. In fact, gays never behave in any particular way. Their behaviour is not different from all of us. It’s our own perception about gays that makes us think that they behave in a particular way.”

He added, “Bollywood has made films on a variety of subjects…but no films have been made on gay sexuality till now. So I added it to the film. And these days, everyone specially the younger generation jokes about gay. But the film is not about gay sexuality. It’s basically about friendship and its ups and downs.”

The real picture will only be clear when the film releases on November 14th.

“It’s our own perception about gays that makes us think that they behave in a particular way.”

This is indeed what Dostana 2008 is about – I only found this after Ajay posted a comment on my post called Why We Should Watch Dostana 2008…well, as those who have watched it with an awareness of such things would tell you, the release does prove that Tarun Mansukhani and K Jo have kept their promise.

This movie is indeed about coming out to mother – as Gay, or as posing to be Gay, (the whole film is in fact ‘posing’ to be NOT about being Gay!)(so how does one look at the way that kiss has been picturized? Doesn’t the camera tell a story of its own in that scene?) whatever, the whole process, associated social scenario is very real, very authentic.

Gays announcing to Mum in real life could exactly face the same scenario where Mum shrieks, turns hysterical, tries to bhoot-bhagao, thinks he is possessed and tries voodoo to cure son etc.

This film is about dispelling those myths that always saw being Gay as only being about sex, about the expectation that Gays have to be certain way. That they are ‘different’ meaning ‘ab’ or ’sub’ or ‘para’ but definitely not normal mainstream like you and me. But they are actually – normal.

And Dostana 2008 is about this. That real Gays would look like just any other man. Would only be different in the way they think. And fantacize, and desire and relate to men and women. Just like hetero men are from Mars, Women from Venus, probably they are also from another planet in the same solar system, maybe Aquarius – who knows?

It isn’t just friendship. Nor is it just about the body. It is a way of life. A way to be. For some. As good or bad as any of us. But quite normal. But of course, it doesn’t say it in clear, straight sentences and raise hackles and spell its doom.

But it plays with the ideas, using the story within a story technique, using a facade well to make a point – ‘the Gays – they are all around Mama, there is nothing to be worried about’. Just shut up and bounce. Along with life. Not against it. If Nature produced the urge, its quite natural.  Just chill.  And maybe Amend IPC 377 quietly without anymore ado.

facing the child within

is difficult

It asks so many questions of me. Why did you not take me there? Why did you let me down? Why did you not keep your promise to me? Why did you not save me from that blow? Why did you leave me alone in the storm? Why did you forget to bring me home? Why do you always try to keep me out of everything? Do you hate me? Don’t you love me? Do you want me? Can you live without me? Will you stop talking to me?

Well, no! I can’t. I can’t live without you. I can never stop talking to you. I need you, to stay alive. Without you the world would be such a drab, colourless place. I shudder even to think of it. Everything would be so prosaic – like the strict drawing teacher in class III wanted it to be: all the trees green, the sky always blue, the streets straight, no not that, that’s green, it has to stay down, blue goes up and nooooo, you mustn’t colour your sky red and leaves cannot be violet or orange! You are being naughty this morning, child?

Nope, the morning was rolling down the hills across the street casting shadows in the throw ball court downstairs. Mrs Salma is absent today, so no poetry and no games but since Mother Provincial is about to visit, there would be music this afternoon. Great! Showers of Blessing, showers of blessing we need, Mercy drops round us are falling, but for the showers we plead. Sister Alice’s fingers seem to fly over the piano keys making her think of butterflies. Turn around, look! O the swings. Swinging with the mountain breeze. So light and inviting, so lovely, drenched in the winter sunshine!

She made a run for it….she had made a run for it…

I had promised the child. So I brought her to the land of swings.
I had promised her a ride on a real roller-coaster, a trip across the wavy plains of the deserts and many more things. For every promise I fulfill for her, she gifts me with an additional day in the present. Adding to my salad days. She gives me a reason to smile, to forgive, to laugh at mistakes, to go on – to just keep going on – because she is intensely curious – she is forever asking what is around the bend. She is never tired.

I get tired though. I am tired.

So I wrote this for her. To remind myself that she doesn’t have anyone but me to take care of her. Talk to her or walk with her. That I am responsible for her. She has waited for years so I would grow up and then take her out. I have this strange tryst with her. I guess I must try and not fail her.

I love her. But I do feel tired. I wish for once she would grow up and stop asking questions or looking up to me. But not leave me alone

Why You Should See Dostana2008

Here are a few good reasons

But before that let’s go over the don’ts first.
1) Don’t expect Wong Kar Wai’s Happy Together when you are watching Karan Johar.
2) Don’t expect Satyajit Ray or Akira Kurosawa. It is unfair. You paid for Karan Johar.
3) Don’t think “sensitive”. Karan Johar is about the senses. Sit back, enjoy the colour and the ambience.
4) Don’t expect “revolutionary”. Karan Johar likes to get along and isn’t a non-conformist!
5) Don’t expect “steamy” – Karan Johar has delicate taste (even when he shows women, its tastefully done )

Now the reasons:
1) Excellent cast

Two fab eye candies. Priyanka, John Abraham.
Priyanka Chopra, who simply looks gorgeous in every outfit she wears, with Shilpa Shetty in the opening song sequence. For those who like to bird watch, should be good.  Tarun Mansukhani gets all the nice angles, guys.I heard the men quietly ooh and wow all the time while I watched 
John Abraham with his “sculpted body” as the media has already reported, is your made to order hunk

2) Excellent Acting

Bobby Deol appears in a wonderful cameo role of a single father and astute businessman minus all the usual Bollywoody hero-mannerisms. Very quiet, very controlled acting from our action hero.Total contrast to what he normally does. Director’s achievement? Or the casting director’s?

Priyanka Chopra plays the insensitive, calculating yuppie woman to the tee. To secure a promotion in office she doesn’t hesitate to use her Gay roomies to entertain her Gay Boss, Boman. She calls them her ‘friends’. (How many of you have Gay friends and have tried to use them so? Men do it to their women friends a lot of times, here we see a woman doing it …well…almost….). So that is a bit of cameo reversal of roles.

But Boman is no fool. He proves stereo typical expectations wrong and sensibly bequeaths his chair to someone more deserving!  Bobby Deol.  Again a little reversal here. These should make for lovely moments

Boman Irani is superb in the role of a ‘typical’ Koti type, the effeminate Gay. He does it to perfection, just to see this very manly man from Everybdoy Says Am Fine morph to a perfect koti from heel to the little finger is a treat to watch.

Never mind the stylization of this particular character, that is part of the way characters in films of this genre are presented. Like if you are watching a Jaatra Paala in Bengal, you woud not expect the subtleties of a Group Theatre play, would you?  The same here.

Remember you agreed to “typical” above.  Boman is the way a Gay in India is “typically” perceived by the clueless innocent.

Kiron Kher is her usual self.  She looks like most mothers.  Good looking, soft, religious, gentle, loving, homemaker, self effacing. Moreover, intelligent enough to be able to be her own self too. So, she is located in London and can take herself to the airport and come to the US by herself.

She gets to behave like a “typical” mum too. Resistant at first, shocked, hysterical, undecided – but finally, when she realizes that it is a fact of life, nothing like a disease or ugly in it,  is tenderly accepting. Anything for the well being of my son. Again, “typical” that most Indian mothers would identify with, easily. So successful on this count too. Karan knows if the audience likes Kiran, what she did,  would be more acceptable to them in the long run.

So, one step taken in the right direction of persuasion of Mother India.

Abhishek Bachhan is bright as usual. Treat to watch him bring out the dark and shade of reality and truth. His portrayal in the “Venice sequence”, acting the perfect ‘koti’ (the submissive feminine equivalent in a Gay relationship) to the ‘parikh’ (male or the dominant partner in a Gay relationship) John Abraham is delightful. The story he concocts is in keeping with how things can be with such couples, how they court, how they are with each other.

The story within the story is used to gently push the idea into the viewer’s thought. On the other hand when they are at ‘home’ they portray how Gays around us are normally, no mannerisms, just plain simple men we see around us. Which again is in keeping with reality. Those who have known Gay men in real life would know that you cannot tell them apart from other hetero men! They are just anybody except in their bedrooms and in privacy of their thoughts and aspirations and fantasy and dreams. Most real life Gays ARE NOT EFFEMINATE at all!!!

Besides, that Abhishek – Abraham kiss, long, with the camera swirling around them showing how their hands are not on each other – well, it takes a lot to do that kind of a scene. Its one of the most memorable scenes in the film, especially if you are NOT Gay. (Er, I think that passionate hands free kiss is something most of us would give a lot to experience 

3)  Message About Gays

The message is John Abraham here – Karan is telling those who would be alert enough to notice,  or prepared to listen, that Gay is also the type represented by Abraham here, the very, masculine, dashing Parikh most women would fall for automatically.

It takes both types in a gay relationship.  A Koti and a Parikh.

It is the last type we fail to notice in everyday life, because we are unaware. These are the ones that are married off to unsuspecting females, and suffer all their lives feeling an emptiness somewhere inspite of everything.

Ignorant or unaware of his orientation , she never can guess, what is really missing from their own relationship. This one would usually have a double life with a male lover somewhere in his life.

With Gays it is just simply NOT sex, as most people think it is. It is the other most important issue that we miss here – emotional bonding. They fail to bond with a female lover. They crave the affection and attention of another man! So, they live with a woman,  father her children,  all the time lost in that ‘friend’ of his somewhere, who is life and soul on the emotional plane.  His hidden muse.

Often mothers would think its his need for sex and the conservative norms of a restrictive society that drives him to be like that. So her solution is to get hold of him and marry him off to a nice good looking woman, thinking it would cure him of his strange habit.  But sadly enough, she paves the way for miserable lives for quite a few people and a divorce perhaps.

Karan wants women to be aware of this. He builds it gently into the presentation. While the hoi-polloi laughs at the ‘cartoons’ Karan knows the thinking modern woman would not miss the parikh.

No, there is no mocking anybody here. At least not senseless stereo typing. Type casting here has been used for a cinematic purpose.

Karan is no fool, if you have watched his television programmes or read his blog (ok, so he might have paid somebody to do it for him, after all, he is rich, but he would oversee something like that going public, as it represents him and his family and business and image). Besides through all interviews I heard, all statements he gives, his choice of words when he speaks to media,  everything suggests him to be an extremely intelligent aware,  fairly well-exposed,  sensitive person. Very style conscious. Very image conscious. Not your run of the mill unschooled filmy family guy at all.

So in his films, it isn’t all senseless. If he puts something in, I would look for a reason behind it. The film is a craft. The brain behind it is that matters, isn’t it?

When I read his blog after Rock On! was relaesed and the interview he had given TOI, he had been extremely conscious about not having done anything significant for a long while. He repeatedly expressed his hunger for doing something considerable soon, something  sensible.  And if rumour is true and he is Gay himself, would he care to mock his own kind in his own film? I doubt it.

What is being hidden under the veneer of humour and fun is the real story in this film. You have to watch it eyes and mind open looking for those hidden clues.

4) Message for Gays

Most of that is in my other post. One thing I missed there is this message to the community of Gays: Guys perhaps you could give it a try – coming out with her in this manner, use a girl friend maybe etc. Or maybe, take her to watch this movie  . Let her hear the term again and again so she gets used to the idea a bit so that the effect of the shock at first time hearing it might be numbed  a little. So when you finally, do bell your cat, well, your old woman, she would be prepared atleast with something – for or against and ther can atleast be a dialogue. Better than straight rejection and heart break and misunderstanding, right? 

And Fashion recently showed this designer marriage between the two friends, a gay fashion designer and his long time female friend – a very workable, very ideal marriage in a way, unless one thinks marriage is only about sex, or about children. So Karan’s film is well timed in a way. Loha garam thha aur ek hathhoda pada is par, driving home a good point in the Indian woman’s psyche. (Why are both the Fashion Mom and this Mom Punjabis? Are they more accepting?)

5) Lastly – The Indian Context

It is a criminal offence to indulge in sodomy here. IPC 377 is syill in force. Which crudely put means, if they know you are doing it the police can come and pick your man or son up any time.

In this context it is even harder for an Indian man to come to terms with his own sexuality. He blunders a hundred times in his life and secretly suffers with absolutely no one to turn to for help, solace or support – least of all people he loves, maybe a wife, a friend, his own family. It means a terrible lot this man on the street to be able to see it all in Karan’s film and be reassured – he is okay! He is fine.  Nothing wrong with him that he finds that man across from him attractive or about the time he has done it….

He would watch it carefully, secretly blessing Karan Johar for his thoughtfulness.

And all the Gays out there, would screen the movie at the next LGBT film Fest in Kolkata Max Mueller Bhavan am sure.  Or in Mumbai or India Habitat Centre in New Delhi. Of course in the contemporary Blockbuster category    There is so little Gay Art or Media content, that they would lap it up.

Yes, this film would be remembered by many. Openly, secretly….but for a long time until something better, bigger, finer comes to take it’s place.

The do’s for those who are unfamiliar with Dharma Production movies:
1) Expect the “typical” in terms of characterization, storyline, plot.
2) Expect “gorgeous” in terms of looks of cast, costume, location, shots, locales.
3) Expect “peppy” in terms of hummable jingle-like tunes, easy to remember lyrics, orchestration for music.
4) Expect lots of “fun” in terms of events, sequences, dialogues. KJ likes to laugh and smile.
5) Expect a little carefully constructed twist or a “ruse” as cover for the real thing. KJ isn’t in favour of raising hackles.
6) Watch Birdcage and Brokeback Mountain along with this if you can. They are genuinely about Gays confronting the straight world.

Well, you are ready to take it as it should be, so go ahead,  take off! 

And am going to brace myself for brick bats I probably have invited through this post of mine. I expect it would either be that, or cold indifference.  Either way though, I do care – but had to be honest. It is a sensible film people should go watch.  For their own sakes.

Mum Accept It Please, Your Son is Gay! Dostana 08

Karan bells the cat in “DOSTANA 2008″

Karan does it! He breaks the news to Mother India at last : Maa, please accept it – your son is Gay!

And the viewers go away laughing. The implication of the long hands-free kiss between the two men completely lost on them (especially the women) for the time being

The embedded message is loud and clear .

Mum, your son is Gay. Officially.  Formally. Publicly. And no other country has any problems with him except your own Maha Bharat and your age old presumptions about such things.

And that kiss would be REMEMBERED. That image would stay in people’s minds and come back and make them wonder once, when they see something similar somewhere, in future. Extremely well thought out and impressively crafted HANDLE – for thought and memory, grafted into the public psyche!! (Planted in public psyche?)

Although to sell his movie, he had to couch the story in terms of  “O they are straight actually, only officially Gay to retain a US residential permit, hard earned and difficult to get. Necessity made them Gay. They needed the house – a shelter in a strange land. In strange land strange things can happen, so Mum please don’t fret”.

Am ok with that. This was necessary. First, one needs to be heard. Then, one can worry about resolving issues. Right now this is more important – to dispel fear, ignorance, bias, stigma associated with the idea.

This way it would be easier for the ‘harsh’ news to sink in. It is a sugar coated pill alright

In the meanwhile, message for the Gay community is: 1) there is a separate service for you at the US immigration office with a separate queue.  2) You cannot fake it.  3) They come to check you out.  4) You get residential status quicker if you file as a Gay couple.

The Gay-Connection-to-Fashion cliche continues though. But here, the colour and glitz was necessary to numb the effect of the subject. Boman Irani’s characterization is stylized but effective. Music, costume, Priyanka, sets, location, shots, script, dialogue etc are usual KJ masala that neatly acts as churan or digestive for the controversial material

Interesting also is, that he appeals to the Mother figure, and not the father.  Very intelligent. It is harder for the father, as he sees his own image in the son. He would tend to associate such a thing as his own failure as a man.

The mother, on the other hand is more tolerant, ever receptive, better equipped to handle it once she knows the truth and realities.

As it happens in India, regional language does not explore such love. Or rarely perhaps. It is only explored in English language texts. Which makes a lot of people automatically assume being Gay is a Western trend.  An average Indian mother does not, still, read English, outside of her school books. So the real issue here is of ignorance.

Karan has set the ball of spreading awareness deftly.

He was never the screaming, hard-hitting guy with a mission to change the world. He is known for his ability to weave a story on the screen nicely, sweetly and when he wants to, he ‘tells’ the world his views about life,  as elegantly and gently as he dresses or talks.  So this film is in keeping with the typical KJ style and Mansukhani would reach his crowd undoubtedly.

Very suave, very understanding of the Indian middle class mentality – Karan proved yet again he has his fingers exactly where the pulse of India beats, without losing sight of realities of life. For those that want to see, the message is indeed clear.

Will Maa accept it? Being a woman myself, I believe in the long run she would, even before the state does. After all she is Mother. At the end of the day she knows her son has nowhere to turn, but to her for help and support.

This would be another milestone movie that would be talked about for years to come. I feel proud to have become a part of this moment in history    Very well done Karan!

PS: This is just documentation of what the film Dostaana is perceived to have done, for the general public, IMO. Not a formal, conventional Review. If you want that, please visit Nita’s blog from my roll. Thanks

Litter-ed

 

 

How many are there? I couldn’t tell… six? five?

a friend comes home!!

Yayyyy!!!!

I just opened my mail and what do I see? A letter announcing this :I am going to be home today.

News that makes for a happy photo moment, when the mind takes a minute off the mundane concerns and routine chores to pause a while and smile. 

All his blogmates look forward to his home-coming. Some are already thinking of what to do when he is here! A few others are wondering if there would be a Bloggers’ Meet, once he settles down in his home in Dombivli in Mumbai (Bollywood) (for those who might need telling   

 A friend coming home is news that still makes me do a  sommersault. Albeit, I do it in my mind now. Old age is catching up…but it can do what it would with the body, the mind still wriggles out of its clutch like a naughty kid and laughs and carries on….

Final Transit is a  Friend and my blogging guru. One of these Young Rovers of the earth. Well, by now he has been to four continents already. That leaves just …how many? …three more I guess, for him to cover

This is him: this should give you an idea I mean if you have never seen him before

He is also that….A bit like me….which is why we get along in the fisrt place

He holds all kinds together:

            

And is generally full of sunshine and warmth when he is in a good mood. We usually have a great time whenever he is around. We get together regularly at his blog and have weird sessions of banter-unplugged whenever we can. Good to see the kid’s back.  Here is wishing him a warm

welcome home !!

what you sow is what you get?

am ranting tonight…

Well, that might be true in a limited sense – I mean you cannot expect a crop of radishes if you sowed apple seeds.

 

But if it were really true in a generic sense, I might have got a whole field full of sunkissed crop everytime I sowed, isn’t it? But looks like it doesn’t happen that way at all. Not in the farm and definitely not in the domain of human interaction. The soil in which you sow and the weather in which you sow matters terribly. Very good seeds might produce nothing or at beast a stunted crop that is undesirable or useless.

 

Sowing good may not always inevitably yield good. 

 

It all depends on how the gesture is perceived. Even though you might be sowing seeds of potential discontent, if they feel you are sowing good will,  you can get away with it. If you can make them feel  you have sowed the right crop, they would still buy without doubting.

 

You could go on loving a bad man and not make an inch of difference. If where you are investing your affection, isn’t ready or the right kind to receive or respond to what you might put in, it isn’t going to yield anything good. Not a good relationship, not well being – no creative, nurturing synergy. I mean if we care to be honest about these things…

 

It is not what I do or not do that brings love and attention in my life. It is that other person too. He or she makes me sing or cry, by the way they affect me.

 

I mean just stop for a moment and think – if I was responsible, would I not be able to do it all the time? Or nearly all the time? The way if am good at singing, I can do so reasonably well everytime am in the mood for it or when I am in good form. There is no two way about this. A fine painter would produce fine painting nearly all the time.

 

If the power lay with us, we could be with any one in the world, weave our magic and get them to love us and be able to love them too – at will. Like the yogis can. Or saints. But is that really common human attribute? Can we do it at will? Love who we would? Or make who ever we want to love us?

 

If it were that easy, would it be so precious? It is because it is so uncertain and not dependent on us is why everytime you pull the trump, you go crazy mad with a hollering “YAY!!!”. You did it dude! You got what it takes you wanted

But even the best of us can’t be sure they can guarantee they would be loved even half of the time.

“The gold is within you. you are your own alchemist”.
 

Perhaps. Depends on who says that. If it is someone who appreciates you, probably that holds true. Otherwise, I think it depends on who is looking at you and how. Beauty does lie in the eye of the beholder. The alchemist would see that there is gold in you. Someone else may not. Because they need to see to believe it is there. The alchemist simply knows it is there. The alchemist shows that to you! So then you know too that the gold is in you and you feel precious and good about yourself   

 

And that is why these alchemists that cross our path in life become so important. Their presence in our life adds value in a way that transforms, everything about our lives – the we think, look at people and life and events and at our own silly selves -  they make the mundane look like a miracle! 

 

We love them. We remember them. We carry them around in our heads wherever we are. Like a good book once read, they are always a constant source of strength and inspiration - to do good, to think well, to do better, to live and never give up on life.

 

And so all the dear alchemists in my life, life looks difficult without you people. You are the wind that keeps my spirit airborne and soaring, you are the rock that bears the weight of my stupid jumpy self and uphold me, your presence in my life keeps me afloat and battling the waves – you all keep me alive.

 

You people are the reason home means something. I am totally, thoroughly dependent on you people for the way I am. And I could not never have survived without you.

All the alchemists in my life – I would not have been who I am without you. You are the reason I sparkle sometimes. You make me feel and be gold:)

It is not me. It is you. You are the alchemist.

 

Would you folks care to share/spare a thought about the alchemists in your lives here with me so we can smile together for a sec? Unless you want to post of course    oh and it might be worthwhile visitng Vagabond for her Fall Colours, I couldn’t stop wow-ing!!Her black BG offsets it really well 

there are no types

what you bring out in a partner depends on yourself

“There are no types”….There are, I think, which is why your advertising thing works I believe. Or marketing?

“what you bring out in your partner depends on yourself”.

I agree with this one. But in the reverse : what you bring out in your partner depends on who he or she is.

You are the same person with everybody you encounter. But they are different – each one draws out different things in you.

Some of them turn out to be alchemists that trigger that golden existence - when you are at your happiest, social, intelligent, liberated, coolest, creative best. There are others that tend to draw out all the negative, belligerent qualities in you. Every day spent with them might be a strain – on your resources, on your patience, limits of tolerance, on your ability to think clearly or logically, on your ability to laugh away the contradictions and rough parts of life.

Why do I say that? I will explain.

I am a bundle offer unto the world. I am the sum total of my beliefs, experiences, prejudices, principles, goals and aspirations.  Every time I meet you, all of these come into play while we interact with one another. So, I remain the same bundle, basically, with all of you. I do not divide my self and carry this belief to this person and only that principle to that other person. When I meet you I do not know who you are, for the first time anyway, so logically, I come to you as a whole bundle, with all there is.

You pick and choose – to see what you will, and ignore what you would not  So, I remain the same – I am the constant element here.

But, people I meet and interact with, are different at each step. Sometimes, they turn out to be people that appreciate me. Sometimes they turn out to be people that hate me. (O am smiling, I don’t hold them responsible, after all, all of us need different things to be happy, right?

It is not because of who I am – it is perhaps because of what you are looking for.  Maybe, you loved me, when you found that?

Maybe you hated me, when I did not meet your expectations or I didn’t turn out to be what you were looking for (in me) ?

I believe, when we do come across people that manage to draw that good side of our selves, we call them “the alchemists” and want to cherish and keep them forever in our lives.

Monkey turned ‘what you sow is what you get’ on its head ?   Is it more like ‘what you sow depends on what you get’  to sow in? (the kind of sowing ground/aadhaar* we get?). There will of course be different views about such things. But this is what came to my mind, when someone I admire made that comment, a day before 

* aadhaar: a container, a receptacle, exteneded meaning – a holder, etc.

Cuckoo, Priyank, Kiran, Manoj and even Nita might frown and say “It’s an irresponsible thing to say, Trisha, how could you?”. Jay, Ashraf, Vishal, Harshad, Vagabond, Shantanu, Arun, Rajarshi, Sanjib (Terri never does come I believe),Aloke, Anjan Banerjee, Partha, Sidhu (I know you read me, read is in the past tense ) – and whoever chances upon the page, willing to share their views, it would be fun to know, what you have to say about this.

my mother

Priyank’s Question

The other day when Priyank had had an overdose of my crypcomm, he shot a mail.

The context here is not important, so I would leave it out. But while I was writing out the answer to his letter, I discovered that I had embarked upon a memory trip! And realized I would like to linger… a bit…..to remember how I remembered….In these times bad people like me do not often do that, you see?

So I removed it from that letter and posted it here.

Here is what Priyank had written, in his own words:

“whats “this” ji gi ji gi post? What is “that” space? Where is “there” ? “first design”, “migrated there”…. etc.. What do you mean you “miss my face”?

I am not sitting next to you or looking at your computer screen. Talk to me as if you are talking to a blind man. when you say “go there” “do this” “see that” without references, I have no idea what you mean and its very annoying.”

“Ji-gi-ji-gi”? G-gi-G-gi ?

Little Trisha used to say that word. Baby would tap her little fingers on the toy and say “jigijigi”. If you tried to give it back to her, and make her play with it, she would bump it another few times against the floor to see if it worked and then hand it right back, reasserting that it was “jigijigi”.

Meaning, I don’t understand it. I can’t figure it out. I can’t handle it. I am puzzled.  She continued with that word till class III (class IV onwards there were boys)…and her Mum would laugh and get hold of her and say, “Noooo, it is NOT jigijigi,  Mitthi, look, you put one here, and the other one there -  a.  n. d   it’s done!” Mum would smile then. A starry starry smile. You felt like you were with a fairy or something - not lost in a math-maze.

Often though,  you would hear the poor lady shriek, “ONE more WHY in this house and am going to throw everyone OUT. You do it RIGHT NOW and because YOUR MUM says it” Sometimes she said that to my baba as well. Because My father was dumb too and had to know WHY. She would say “everyone” to make sure baba understood that he was Father, supposed to side with the Mother and it was chastising time. He would often forget!

We called her ‘bossy’ behind her back. Bro and I – we almost grew to ‘hate’ her and tried to keep her at arms length. But she was always there, everywhere in our lives, back then.

As “jigijigi” and other made-up words disappeared from my vocab, I needed Mother as a buffer and a shield and a filter and a Wiki less and less and somehow drifted so far away that it took three years and a question to bring it all back : a question unzipped a snap and I saw her as she was, I saw that smile again.

Guess I feel a little homesick this morning.

But it doesn’t mean I want to say I miss my Mum or cry or hold on to the moment any longer…

15 Sep 2008